Wassup @ Sex?

MELANIE: Oh, Sex. You crazy kid, you.

The craziest thing about sex (besides all of it) is that no one ever knows what anyone else is truly doing behind closed doors. Unless you always have sex in public places or videotape yourself for amateur porn websites, sex is private. And as much as I talk about sex with my girlfriends, boyfriends and various strangers, there's no way to communicate exactly what I'm doing, what it looks like or how what I'm doing relates to what anyone else is doing. We never really know!

Although, I feel like I'm getting a little anthropological here for no reason because who really cares what anyone else is doing? I would rather poke my eyes out than picture 99% of the human population having sex. I mean, really, most people are gross and/or make inexcusable fashion choices that make me want to fire them from life. So, I guess what I'm saying is, I want to know what kind of sex...Angelina is having with Brad. Or...The Obamas are having with each other. Or...Lady Gaga is having with whomever she's sleeping with at this time. Because they are all attractive and they all know how to dress.

What was I talking about?


LAUREN:
SEX BUDDIES
DONT YOU HATE IT WHEN FACEBOOK RUINS YOUR PERFECTLY GOOD AND HEALTHY SEX BUDDY?
I TEND TO BE BE DISCREET, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A FEW CLOSE AND PERSONAL GIRLFRIENDS WHEN I EXCHANGE INFORMATION AND PICTURES :) OF NEW LOVE INTERESTS. SO RECENTLY I LOG INTO FACEBOOK AND SEE THE FREQUENT STATUS UPDATES OF MY NEW BUDDY. I
START TO READ...WHAT SEEMS TO BE A STREAM OF VARIOUS SEXUAL ESCAPADES MY BUDDY IS INVOLVED IN. IT WAS KINDA CUTE WHEN HE POSTED THAT HE WAS EXCITED THAT I WAS COMING OVER FOR A PAJAMA PARTY. THEN I SAW AFTER I LEFT HE WAS LOOKING FOR SOME MORE COMPANY!!!!!!
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO PUT INTO PERSPECTIVE A "NEW RELATIONSHIP" TO YOURSELF OR TO EACHOTHER. FUN CAN EASILY TURN INTO HEARTACHE, AND JEALOUSY.
I NO LONGER WANT TO BE "FRIENDS" WITH ANY OF MY "NEW AND BUDDING RELATIONSHIPS" I DO NOT WANT to SEE PICS OF THEIR SAT NIGHTS WITH SEVERAL WOMEN, THEN SEE THEIR PLANS OF CUDDLE NIGHTS WITH OTHER WOMEN...OR...MAYBE I SHOULD JUST START DATING MY AGE



ANGIE:
The great thing is, I'm finally having all the sex I want/need. Having come out of a 3 year once-a-month situation, it's refreshing. The problem is, I can't even keep up. That's the problem when you date someone who only has to worry about making it to class a couple times a week and whether their fake ID will work. I'm starting to have real "grown-up" worries and responsibilities (at last - and it sucks!!!), and sometimes these days, I just don't have the time nor energy to do it. And - ironically, considering my previous relationship - she says our sex life is going downhill and "we never do it anymore." I think an average of 5 times a week is pretty good, no? Be careful what you wish for.


EVA:
Not to sound like an infomercial but there is sex and then there is making love. Ok I am guilty, I am listening to NO ORDINARY LOVE by Sade and it is absolutely impossible to listen to her
music and not drift off into a sexy love making fantasy. You now I am right. If you haven’t put on her music to &*%*&^ to then you don’t like music on when you *^*&. I make my point. In high school it was Enigma that meant some heavy petting was about to go down. God I have always hated that phrase, “heavy petting” it sounds like a barn where you get to feed the animals but instead its people slobbering all over each other. It’s true some people have an aura about them that is SEX. Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Depp, Prince. I am not saying I am into Prince but I the man, all 4’11 of him besides having some of the hottest women as girlfriends, exudes sex. I like to think I have that energy Sexy People, Sexy Music, these are a few of my favorite things to think about or listen to, when I am having my “alone time.”



RANI:
I have never been the luckiest person when it comes to relationships. No poo poo pity party here, just keepin it real folks, and that's the truth. I have tried everything... meditating on it, sagging myself, smudging myself, putting "love" crystals in my belly button.. anything short of sacrificing a goat, I have done to try and perk up my luck. Then my friend Amanda used her feng shui knowledge and she told me all about the placement of my "love corner". Turns out my love corner was piled with bills, a painting my EX boyfriend made, and a whole lotta crap. It also turns out that having my neighbor’s toilet above my bed isn't the best either. They literally flush their shit onto me, but I can't change the placement of my bed because my NYC apartment is the size of a matchbook. So I cleaned it up a little.... but that didn't seem to last for very long. Needless to say, I'm still single but looking. And looking. Aaaaaand looking.....



DEE:
I need a sex make over. Why? Because I'm in a sexual rut. I don't feel sexual, or sexy, or anything. I feel really, lackluster. Blah. I want to be like a sex kitten, a bombshell, a sex diva again! I want to ooze sex, and leave a trail of sexual "oh my god-ness" EVERYWHERE I go, like a sexy non-deadly hot plague. I'm not sure how to regain, my inner prowess. I wish there was a drug I could take, to get it back. Like, E-but not so toxic, or like Viagra for regaining an inner sexy feeling for 4 long hot steamy hours or so! Or maybe a retreat in the woods or something. Or maybe... I just want to find my sexy! Where the hell did I put it?